Roads To My Roots: FireFallDown

When I was high school I was a total nobody.

I never went to any rave events; I don’t throw the lavish parties

I don’t dictate the trends in school; I don’t turn heads for that matter.

However, I was totally content with everything.

I was such a complacent kid. There was no trace of "jealousy" in my blood.

I was happy that my sense of humor came across to my friends

They even said, "Hey, 10 years from now you’re the one we won’t forget".

I was clueless. So I said, "Really, Why so?”

"Because you make everyone laugh. You make us happy".

I thought. ha-ha. I don’t know if I should take that as a complement but I took it as one.



Despite this, my high school was never easy, just like every stage in my life.

The difficulties revolved around three things: academics, schoolmates and family:



Back then I was so Grade conscious. I would have a terrible anxiety attack when pop quizzes would come.

Like any other kid, I had trouble with some of my classmates. I guess there are people that you are not meant to connect. Yes, I've been bullied. Hey, I was a small kid. haha

Lastly, my family was facing some problems. All families have problems but we got into a very difficult one. I refuse to discuss it since I've always kept my family life private(as much as possible) The problems with my family were by far, out of the three the most challenging for me.



Some of you are probably wondering, "How the hell did I get thru all of that?"



My answer is simple. "Music".



I started collecting CD's during my second year. All my savings went to it.

Initially I was into RnB. TLC was a favorite of mine. I think their second album, "CrazySexyCool" was the best Rnb album of all time. Everything on that album was just amazing. Then, when I started to form my little band I started to get hooked on different bands.

I hate to admit this but I got obsessed over Limp Bizkit. lol

I memorized everything about them, from Fred Durst to Wes to Sam. Everyone.

I was also into Marylin Manson. I think the band is genius. The music is just fantastic! Mechanical Animals and AntiChrist Superstar were top digs for me.

BUSH was also a favorite. Their album, Sixteen Stone is just fucking amazing. "Glycerine” is an all time favorite. I had so many other bands that I looked up to but they are just too many to write.



Anyway, my point is, their Music was the one that kept me sane.

I would just hole up in my room and listen.

I would even sit on top of our roof, smoke, put my Discman on and all my problems would disappear. I would immerse myself completely to the music and not give a flying fuck about what’s going on in my life



If you would listen to the lyrics, there is just something very inspirational about their music. They understand what kids were going through. They understand ME.



Well, this was back in high school.



Fast-forward 2009 and I am already a college graduate. And at this time I seem to have forgotten the music that saved me. I was so engrossed with my adult life that I was caught up.

However, a few days ago, I chanced upon this band from the UK, called "FireFallDown". I got the song "Commissioned" and allowed myself to listen to it.



To be honest, I wasn't’t so much into it the first listen. But when I played it back I understood the lyrics and that made all the difference.

You know, their unique mix of skate punk, Motown, and pop punk is actually a throw back to most of the stuff that I listen back in high school.

Its fresh but it has that appeal that I don’t see in new acts right now. I hate all that emo shit on the radio. But this one actually made sense. I also like the fact that two of the members are actually half Filipino. I’ve always had Filipino Pride and have always supported them.



What’s interesting is, I feel so nostalgic right now. Because the way those entire 90’s band got me emotional is the same way "Commissioned" got me all emotional right now.



I think it’s timely that I got back to my roots because I have been lost for quite sometime.

When I heard the lyrics, I initially thought that this was meant to inspire to reach out for your dreams, to utilize your "talents".



But it evoked a different emotion in me. In a way, I felt that it was saying I shouldn’t give up.

You see my brother is sick right now. It’s a rare disease and all I can do is pray for him.

Even right now that I’m not feeling well, I could only think of how painful this is for our family. I was totally down the last few days. And when I heard “Commissioned” It was just so uplifting that I felt sorry that I almost lost my faith in God because of all this. I understand that I can’t give up because people need me

I need myself to be there.

I need to be strong.

I have to Believe.

I wanted to give up, losing my Faith is something I would never want to happen because He is the only that could hear when no one else can.

And I feel that if I give up on myself, I give up on God.



Music has always been a healer for me.

And for this, I’ll always be thankful.

Because when friends or family are not around, like right now.

Music will always give the comfort that I need.